Reminiscing

I've heard that it's possible to grow up, I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don't go our way. We whisper secrets with our best friend in the dark. We look for comfort where we can find it. And we hope against all logic, against all experience, like children, we never give up hope.

After careful consideration, and many sleepful nights, here is what I have decided, there is no such thing as a grownup. We move on, we move out, we move away from our families and form our own. But the basic insecurities, the basic fears, and all those old wounds just grow up with us and just when we think life and circumstance force us to be an adult your mother says something like that, or worse something like that. We get bigger. We get taller. We get older, but for the most part we're still a bunch of kids running around the playground desperately trying to fit in.

-Meredith Grey (Yesterday)

In it

So go ahead. Argue with the ref, change the rules. Cheat a little, take a break and tend to your wounds. But play. Play. Play hard, play fast... play loose and free. Play as if there were no tomorrow. It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game... right?

-Meredith Grey (Name of the game)

Belief

One Swaying Being

Love is not condescension, never
that, nor books, nor any marking

on paper, nor what people say of
each other. Love is a tree with

branches reaching into eternity
and roots set deep in eternity,

and no trunk! Have you seen it?

The mind cannot. Your desiring

cannot. The longing you feel for
this loves comes from inside you.

When you become the Friend, your
longing will be as the man in

the ocean who holds to a piece of
wood. Eventually, wood, man, and

oceans become one swaying being,

shams Tabriz, the secret of God.





-Rumi

2 months plus

• Currently 2 weeks away from heading back to the states
• Have been watching lots of Olympics programs, E.R., The Oprah Winfrey Show, already-memorized-lines Grey's Anatomy season 4, and of course GA's sibling, Private Practice.
• Have seen Hellboy, The Dark Knight, The X-Files, Get Smart, Wanted, Sepi, and Kung Fu Panda.
  
• Have met the oh-my-god-oh-my-god happening Hiking and Camping Club's members and alumni. All I can say is that was an amazing reunion, even though I had to leave early.
• Have been meeting up with close relatives and school buddies; a huge reunion is coming up. Can't wait for that.
• Have settled up some 'need to be done' matters. Perhaps.
• Currently reading wittingly crafted 'Empire Falls' by Richard Russo.
• Have made progress in driving cars. A surprise for Mark Endo and Kate Sipla is coming up!
• Went to Thailand and traced Kochem until Bangkok. But, failed...
  
• Reconciliating. A lot.

Counting days. Again, contemplating on the feelings I should have now.

it's a Tag!

one, do you believe in love at first sight?
always!

two, have you ever felt stupid and why?
yup. in making some decisions. rather say, "mistakes"

three, who do you wish to see right now?
AT gang!

four, if you can have one dream to come true, what would it be?
meeting damien rice.

five, do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
hmmm....not really

six, do you like being who you are today?
better than yesterday

seven, would you change who you are for your lover?
depends.

eight, if you meet someone you love, would you confess to him or her?
confessing? sure!

nine, are you selfish?
yes, at MOST of the parts

ten, have you cheated the one you love?
yup

eleven, which type of cars you love the most?
not really into cars...apa2 pun boleh.

twelve, which do you prefer from your other half, hug or a kiss?
hug

thirteen, if you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
point it out.

fourteen, what do you think is the most important thing in your life?
my devotion towards HIM

fifteen, are you a shopaholic or not?
ask Addin!

sixteen, electronic device or gadget you own that you like most?
iPhone....

seventeen, what is your favourite fragrance?
Obsession - CK

eighteen, what gadget do you wish to have right now?
duh....

nineteen, if given a chance, do you want to see your future?
nope

twenty, are you a virgin?
hmmm......

Three Cups of Tea

Here (in Pakistan and Afghanistan) we drink three cups of tea to do business; the first you are a stranger, the second you become a friend, and the third, you join our family, and for our family we are prepared to do anything – even die”
-Haji Ali, Korphe Village Chief, Karakoram Mountains, Pakistan.

I closed the book putting it back into in my backpack under the front seat, where I found the old lady’s sandal taken off, and she was sitting on the seat next to me crossed leg, sleeping. She reminded me of my mom. In less than 10 hours I would be meeting my mom after more than a year since I left Malaysia. But the lady’s figure, countenance, shalwar and shawl, had more to tell and gave me perfect description of Pakistan women told by Greg Mortensen and David Oliver Relin in their collaboration producing extraordinary book, Three Cups of tea.

Mortensen's mission is a relentlessly positive one, especially in an effort to trounce impoverishment out of Pakistan and Afghanistan, after failed to conquer K2. As climbers, we both know about the hardship of climbing, but after reading this book, I realized that the summit he’s trying to achieve to promote humanity is much more difficult than any summits. It is by building one school at a time in Pakistan and Afghanistan. As a Muslim I am personally feel connected to most of anecdotes Mortensen incorporated in this book. He talks about Shia and Sunni, marriage in Islam, solah, etc. And all of his stories are told in the most captivating and suspenseful, heartwarming, storytelling book, Three Cups of Tea, which definitely won my heart.

A huge thanks to Taufiq (Ketuat) and Paan for introducing this amazing book to me. And more credit to Paan for lending it to me to bring it back home. By the time I’m writing this entry, I have 3 more chapters to go. This is the first time, me, reading the book without any urgency to end it to know the end. I do not want it to end. The humanitarian mission of changing the world to a better place to live. To live without any qualms of what does the future holds, especially, when I am now sitting in Starbucks having my favorite USD$3.80 caramel macchiato, and know that every one dollar I spend could pay for a day lesson for a teacher in Pakistan and Afghanistan.

The flight was about to land in Hong Kong. I was just finished reading the part where Mortensen tells about Korphe’s first school inauguration, which deeply moved me into tears. Putting back the book in my backpack and trying to reach my passport and boarding pass for the next flight, I saw the lady sitting next to me dropped her passport on the floor. I bent, picked it up and figured out that it was Pakistan Passport.

It used to be...

I was laying my back on my dad car's trunk, which was parked outside of my house because my uncle used the garage for his car, looking at stars dotting the sky and wondering what my friends were doing at that time. New friends. It was new semester. Second semester of my life in INTEC.

His name appeared on my cellphone and it kinda surprised me.
"Ha, pehal?" I was wondering if something bad happened to him.
"Tak de pape. Aku tengah tunggu train dekat sentral nih. Saje je call ko."
We had quite a long talk. It was awkward for me but,
That WAS the moment, I knew that I could have opportunities of spending good time with him.

But, I took it for granted.